Logan Paul…

If you don’t know about Logan Paul, he is a very popular video creator on YouTube. His fans are mostly younger children to older adolescents.

He recently uploaded a video (it has now been deleted) of him and some friends going camping in Suicide Forest in Japan.

Suicide Forest is a forest in Japan where, to be blunt, people go to die by suicide. These people feel so depressed, so worthless, that they go to this forest and kill themselves. Some leave notes, others do not.

The forest is believed to be haunted, which is why it is somewhat of a tourist attraction to those who do not plan to die by suicide.

Thousands of people go in to this forest every year and kill themselves. Tourists come along and find their tents, their old belongings, etc but it has been somewhat of a rare occurrence for someone to see a victim of suicide still in the forest.

Well, Logan Paul did.

Because this guy is so insensitive, he decided to keep filming. He got close up shots of the victim. Because he blurred out the face of the victim, he thought it was okay. He and his friends then decided to laugh about it, claiming that is how they coped.

Now, I do understand that is how some people cope. But why put it in a video? Why keep filming? Why upload it for the world to see, all while knowing the fans are mostly younger children?

I take suicide, mental health, and awareness/prevention very seriously. It is my life. I, along with A LOT of other advocates, are not gonna stand by and let Logan Paul get away with what he did. He did not make a mistake. He made a CHOICE. He CHOSE to continue filming, editing, and uploading that video. He knew it was wrong and did it anyway.

When you know something is wrong and you do it anyway, it’s no longer a mistake. It’s a choice. That’s why I don’t believe his apology.

I feel like my purpose in this world is to educate and advocate about mental health and suicide prevention, and that’s what I intend to do.

I’m literally in college to make helping people and educating people about mental health and suicide prevention my career. This is what I want to do. This situation just hurts my heart.

Twenty One Years

I am having to talk about my early childhood in my psychology class, and I can barely get through it. I break down crying. I have to take breaks while writing sometimes.

A few weeks ago in the class, I had to talk about what was happening psychologically. I didn’t know what was happening back then, but I know now, and honestly, I don’t know how I’m still alive.

I had suicidal thoughts at the age of 6, but I never thought it was a big deal. By the time I was 10, it was a normal thing happening in my head almost daily. I don’t remember much from before age 6.

School was always so difficult for me. I always had a hard time focusing, but it wasn’t to the extreme of being ADHD. I could focus enough to get the assignment done. My brain always felt like it was on overload, and still does to this day now that I’m in college.

I’ll be 27 in October. It’s scary to know I’ve been battling depression for at 21 years. But while I have that unfortunate statistic under my belt, I have a life ahead of me that could be without depression. Maybe in another 27 years, I’ll be a happy and healthy 54 year old. Maybe with a husband a couple of kids. A dog and a cat. Maybe some chickens in the backyard and a horse in the stable.

It’s something to look forward to, and to pray for. God may (and probably does) have a completely different plan for my life, but the people (and pets) in my life need me, right? Maybe in the future when I’m feeling worthless, I can go back to this next paragraph.

Yes, you battle depression. But it doesn’t have to be forever. Fight hard. Fight with your fists in the air and your feet firm on the ground. Don’t let it move you. If you let it move you, you only go backwards. Your future is waiting for you. It wants to meet you. It wants to celebrate the good times with you.

If you’re in the same boat as I am, don’t give up. We’ll fight this thing together.